Thursday, January 31, 2008

Eating raw food: Its all about attitude; Part III

In my previous blog, I wrote about my first social experience on this diet, and how it has impacted me.

Over the holidays this year, during Christmas, my family and my fiance an
d I were invited to a family Christmas dinner, at my Uncle's and his girlfriends house.
My uncles girlfriend(I'll call her S)had given my mom and dad a Whole Foods gift card, and told my mom to buy her and I a special raw fish feast for the holiday dinner, so we wouldn't feel left out.
My mom had bought Ahi tuna, salmon, seaweed, raw sheeps milk cheese, cucumber, avocado, and various other little treats. S joined us in our raw food dinner, and didn't even eat any of the turkey, or cooked food the guys were indulging in. She enjoyed it very much, and even wanted to start eating it more often.
My mom and I on the other hand had a very different experience; we began to feel slightly nauseous from eating the raw fish, and it felt like there were rocks sitting in our stomachs.
All I wanted was my raw ground beef, and I really felt like my instincts were telling me not to eat raw fish anymore.
My mom and I felt that our instincts were confirmed after reading this post on Live-Food(a group ran by Vinni Pinto) Recipe For Disaster
You can also join the group, and learn more about this diet.

I have learned that people just want you to be apart of things. Good friends and family will go out of their way to integrate you into their lives, no matter how different you are, or how you eat.

In my experiences, few times have I had blatantly horrified and rude people, attacking me for my way of life.

When I was working at St. Vincent De Paul in Seattle, WA, there was a woman there who I worked shifts with. When she found out that I ate raw meat, she was so shocked and horrified that she went around literally yelling it to my entire crew, and telling them to come look at what I was eating. At first, I felt pretty alienated...but I took it in stride, and no matter what she said to me, I counteracted her words with positives. As her and I started working together more, she actually told me that she thought it was really cool that she knew someone who ate raw meat, and that she liked the fact I was different. She also told me that she may have thought I was weird at first; but she thought I was just so nice and kind that she really didn't think I was that weird anymore.

In my opinion, the way the vegans and vegetarians eat is detrimental to their health; but I will defend their right to eat that way. Why? Because it is everyone's personal right to live life how they want, and I can understand that some people literally cannot bring themselves to harm animals, because their conscious will attack them. No; I do not think it is healthy, but it is not my right to tell them how to live their lives. The only thing I can do is recommend healthy supplements for the health problems caused by such diets.

Over time; I have come to a lot of realizations, and I have had mini-battles in myself over eating my food in front of others; on occasions such as work lunches. But I know, that as long as I have pride, and confidence, that people will not look at me like an alien, but a person with a different way of life.

Eating raw food: Its all about attitude; Part II

In my original blog; called; Eating raw food: Its all about attitude: Posted on; Thursday, August 9, 2007
I wrote about my perspective, and experiences eating raw meat.
That was 5 months ago; in this post I am writing about my first social experience on the RVAF diet.

In march, before this blog was put out; I moved to Illinois to be with my current fiance. I moved in with his friends, a couple and their 3 year old.
I had only been on the diet for about a month at the time, but the couple was very accepting of it. The wife(I'll call her A)was especially "protective" of my diet.

One day her husband(I'll call him R)and my fiance and I went to pick up my meat from the grocery store. R noticed that the ground beef in the bulk butcher section was on sale for only $1.99 lb. So I got a huge package of 5 lbs, and we went home.
On our way home, R decided to randomly tell me that the reason it was so cheap, is because it was all the meat that was going bad, ground up and set out. Needless to say I was a LITTLE mad, that he failed to tell me this when we were at the grocery store.
When we got home I opened the package, and took a bite. It was DISGUSTING; it tasted like old warm mushy nastiness.
My boyfriend Sam had asked me if he could make a cooked hamburger with it. I said yes; as he proceeded to pat the ground beef into a patty, it was so mushy and gross he was horrified, and couldn't even bring himself to make a burger with it.

A was very mad, and told me; "We're gonna take that meat back, and if they won't let you return it, I'll tell them that you eat raw meat, and this meat is old and gross and you want a refund!" She also told me we could try Aldi's meat(the local poor people grocery outlet)and that she would cover me and we could poke a hole in one of their meat packages and I could take a bite and see if it was any good.
Her husband R was horrified; "A! You can't do that, are you really going to do that? You better not poke a hole in the meat and eat it!" A and I laughed and winked at each other as we told R; "Uh sure we won't..."
We went to the grocery store and returned my meat, only to find out that the good meat was the same price as the gross meat.
We picked up 5 packages; at the time I only ate one pound a day, of 15% fat ground chuck.
A and I drove over to Aldi's, and we walked in; meandering around, pretending to check everything out. We went by the meat cooler, and A stood in front of me; I was too nervous to poke the hole in the meat package myself; so A did it for me and handed me a chunk of ground beef.
I popped it in my mouth; it wasn't terrible, but it sure wasn't good. I shook my head at her; "no."
Then we walked our happy butts back to the SUV and headed home.
Of course when we told her husband R what we'd done, he was horrified, and proceeded to berate us for our illegal activities.

A few days later A did something I would have never expected ANYONE to do...
Now A was very motherly, she liked to cook for everyone, make sure the house was immaculate, do everyone's laundry....etc.
Unfortunately I'm the same way; just a little more specific about how I do things. My laundry is mostly high quality vintage and couture clothes, therefore only jeans and t-shirts can be washed in the washer.
She attempted to do my laundry one morning, and as I was coming down the stairs, I stepped into the kitchen and she told me she was loading my laundry. I was horrified, and ran up to her and started to grab my delicates out of her evil crappy washer. I thanked her, but politely let her know that the clothes couldn't be washed in a washer.
I then went to get my food out of the fridge; suddenly she cuts in front of me, and tells me she made my breakfast. She then opens the fridge, and hands me a plate with ground beef lettuce wraps with plastic wrap over them.
I am in shock, horror, speechless...
She had even poured balsamic vineger, and salt and pepper on them, grated carrot, and sliced up radishes. She had prepared them just as she'd seen me do. Needless to say I could not believe that someone had actually made me my raw meat breakfast...
At this point in my diet I was still very much into putting preparation in my food, because I was still slightly squeamish about the taste of my ground beef.
I was horrified at the fact that someone else's hands had prepared MY ground beef. I mean it was raw, I only wanted my hands to touch it; it felt like an invasion...

Although it was awkward and unsettling, I really appreciate A's efforts to make me feel at home, and included in things.
R and S were the first people I ever ate my raw meat in front of, and because of their kindness and non-judgmental attitude, I really feel that it helped my confidence in my social experiences on my diet.

In my next blog I'll cover my most recent social experiences, and how my family reacts to my way of life.

Dream Interpretation: Evil Green Puddle

My dream:

Sam and I are out; and we suddenly remember we're supposed to be at the grocery store. We get there, and for some strange reason we end up being there all day, and I'm starting to get sick from lack of food. We apparently won some $90 dollar shopping spree, and we are checking out at the cash register. But; all the groceries are things the ladies that work there picked out for us, and they are all junk-food, and poisons. I am horrified, and I tell the cashier to just take everything back. I ask if we can go on our free shopping spree another day; and they tell me no. It has to be today. So; by this time I'm starting to get really sick; and Sam ends up going ahead of me and shopping. I suddenly get really dizzy and weak and fall on the floor, almost passing out. The ladies that work there surround me, and are asking if I'm OK. I'm realizing I just need my meat, and I get up really weakly, and start looking for Sam. He's in one of the isles, and once I see him I tell him what's up with me; and that I have to get something to eat. I then proceed to the meat isle, and grab a pack of ground beef; I'm thinking in my head that even though its low in fat at least its food. I rip the package open right there and start scarfing it down. I feel alot better.
The dream proceeds and I'm at my parents house, in the backyard. I have these books I bought for my parents, and I tell them that one of the books is about this evil green puddle.
My brother and I remember that there used to be an evil green puddle in our back yard, and if anyone ever went near it or looked in it they'd get sucked into it, and never come back. Then we also remember, that it had disappeared leaving only a hole, and that we had taken blocks of wood and filled the hole, and then covered it with a sheet of plywood and used rocks to hold it down. We had also covered it in leaves to disguise it.
I then suddenly realized, that my brother and I had stopped believing in the evil green puddle, and that's why it had dried up. I also realized that ever since we'd stopped believing in it, it never came back again.
Unfortunately; my brother's curiosity was getting the better of him; and he kept going over to the covered hole and peeking under the plywood. I kept telling him to stay away from it; that it was dangerous and it could come back again if he believed in it again.
I remember in the dream my mom and I were sitting in the backyard together(our backyard in Washington)and she was meditating. I was sitting there with a knife, and a couple other things I can't remember.
My cat; who is a main coon was playing on the patio with a bunch of other main coons the neighbor lady owned(in my dream)
My mom then got up, and handed me this strange circle mirror tray, with a metal "gate" around it. The mirror had words she had written on it, and they said something about going in to see my father, and thanking me for something.
I then proceeded to pick up my belongings, and follow her in.
Just then once again my brother peeked under the plywood, and I chided him again...

When I awoke I suddenly realized that the moral, and reason for the dream; was teach me that if I believe in a nightmare, it will come true. In my conscious I knew this, but I wasn't really feeling it lately. My sub-conscious knew I needed to see this; to stop believing in the nightmare illusions, because they would steal all my energy. To only believe in what I wanted in life, and what I wanted to see; and just like that evil green puddle all the bad illusions would disappear, and I'd forget they had even been there. I think my brother(he was much younger, around 10)represented my own curiosity; and that even though we can walk away from the illusions we don't need in our lives, some part of us will still wonder. We just can't let that part of us take over and rampage on what-ifs.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Cold hands

You treat them as specimens
Labrats
Cold and calculating in your incision
In your judgment
You put up a front, a squeaky clean pearly smile, and a handshake there
A sympathetic nod, and a wipe of your brow
But inside your dead and cold
As sterile as the white walls, and irradiated metal tools
Numbed by too many bloody latex gloves
And too many deaths by your skilled hands
I'm sure lives have been saved, but can you count the lives lost?
To you; its all about the cost
The dollar
The added luxury to your life
You don't see a patient, a person, a human
You see a project, a cash refund, a number in millions
Those little colored pills, to miracle cure all ills
As side effects destroy them; turn them into societal rejects
Injects; the toxic poison in your veins
Plays with those bloody stains inside his demented mind
Butchers
They cut, and prick, inject and slice
Dice and twice over...no forever they'll steal your soul
Leaving you nothing but a black hole
Where those happy thoughts used to be, are replaced with sweet calm serenity
And boiling insanity
All for THEIR vanity, their profit margin
I see their cold, dead eyes
Hollow spaces, filled with gray
No they can't feel
They are as numb as the nectar they inject
Synthetic appeal
They'll kill you while they heal you
They can't feel your pain
The dementia clawing to escape your brain
But they can; seal you away
Turn you into something new, and improved
A good little sheep following the herd
Sleep walking; you'll never be heard
They'll even give you their shiny golden word
Their metallic calculating diagnosis
Their atrocious implants and metal contraptions to fix your imperfect limbs
They can never wash away their bloody sins
No matter how much they scrub their immaculate skins
Underneath the human shell, their monsters playing games
We're just the toys to amuse their ploys
But I haven't lost my voice, and I'll never let them touch me with their knives
Lives will be lost, but mine will not be among the numbers

Fashion Goddess

Coming from a land where personalities were banned, I was forever struggling to fit in with the fads, and when it faded like blue jeans; I became an outcast in a new scene
No longer green with envy at the preppy armies, I no longer aimed to please the barbies
Ragtag fashion became my new passion; but it wasn't me
It was just a new clone army, and I was goth barbie
I blended in with the faded blacks like smudged charcoal
I followed along; dressing in chains and collars, spikes and layers of necklaces against my fishnet fetishes; but then I walked away and my fashion dwindled to cheap retail stores
I was one of the slave-labor whores

My sweet breath of fresh air was you Seattle...
I left that shuttle flown down from planet clone; and from your green palette my true colors shone through, like water glistening on a new shoe
I found my inner voice; my life was filled with color choice and even time-traveling
I was unraveling my layers, and my fashion prayers were answered; when I was surrounded by a hodge-podge of misfits and everyone was their own designer
No one questioned my 70's polyester flower power blouse, no; they looked at me with envy
I felt my fashion goddess powers for the first time, and paisley was on the menu again
Yes this delicious sin of vintage is in
This wondrous fifties dress is draping on my skin...
And I feel free, I feel like I am finally me
I found my style; and it is wild and and versatile just like the scenery; and I'm sure as hell not in any scene but my own
Own your runway, catwalk down your own path
Because rules are for clones; and last I checked I wasn't in any alien experiment, but my own clothing experience

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Ugly underwear: My conspiracy theories

Ever notice that the generic trademark for pajamas is bright colors, crazy patterns, and blinding designs?
Lets not forget cartoon characters, flowers, hearts, checkerboard patterns, stars, shiny blinding reds and neon greens.

Then look at boxers, superheroes, money, catchphrases about penis size, horrid colors, and metallics...Why would any man want a picture of Jim Morrison on his ass?

Women's underwear; god just go into Victoria's secrets. Who wears neon green bras with red lace and polkadots?
Or what about all the panties with "screw me" catchphrases? And the fact that all of this stuff doesn't even MATCH; like okay, pink and neon green, purple and red(ALWAYS a bad color scheme).
Panties will be themed with snowflakes during the holidays(EVEN Christmas trees!!)...what next; a Hannakuh candle stick print with a joke about being hot?

What about all the doo-dads on thongs? I once had a thong I got from Charlotte Rousse with a freakin' WHISTLE attached to a string, hanging above the nether region, as well as a thong w/ bells hanging off the hips...underwear is literally coming w/ bells and whistles!
I'm sure many women out there have experienced the dysfunctionality of rhinstones inset into pot-metal, on the hips of their panties. Dear god I can't count the ammount of times I've gotten litteral CUTS in my hips from the metal warping and cutting me.
Lace, plastic, latex, ribbons and bows, fishnet, zippers(geez if your gonna go that far just take the thing off)
I hate those G-strings w/ freakishly long pieces of lace hanging from the back, so when you pull up your pants you got a little baby blue lacy tail hanging out the back...
That reminds my of when I tucked my workshirt into my underwear, and my lowrider jeans provided my underwear to be displayed to my whole(Completely cruel and "Oblivious" ) work crew.

But onto my theories;
1. Deep inside people want to wear bells and whistles, bright fluffy lace and neon colors w/ cartoon characters proudly displayed on their buttocks in public.

2. The corporations making these atrocious creations want us to feel ugly under our clothes.

3. Some idiot designer of undergarments decided to make everything completely HIDEOUS because he was having a bad day; and ever since then everyone followed in suit.

4. All those insane patterns are hiding secret mind-controlling hypnotism messages.

Well I for one will not stand for the horrible epidemic of ugly underwear! What's a girl supposed to do???

Sky

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Family & Hospitals

At some points in your life, when you feel like your completely losing it, like nothing else could possibly go wrong...like life just keeps attacking you; these are the times when you realize that family can be the most important thing in your life.
These are the times, that when you think you have no one you realize you have more than you could ask for.


Last night my bestfriend in the whole world, my fiance, my soulmate, my fucking everything could have died. He had a burst appendix for 2 days and had no idea, and we just found out yesterday when he ran out of pain meds for his back, and suddenly started feeling the pain in his stomach worse than he had the whole week of stomach pain. He came into my work, doubled over in pain, bringing me my water and a Lara bar, and was going to head off to work.
He told me what he suspected was the case, and I started to cry, because he told me they were gonna cut him open. I begged him to call my mom, and head straight to the hospital.

He never called my mom, and never went to the hospital.
I called my mom, and asked her what appendicitis was, and if it was burst, what would happen? She told me to get off the phone and make him go to the hospital; that he could die. I started to cry again, I thought this isn't real, it can't be happening. I called Sam, and told him, argued, fought with him to go to the hospital. He finally conceded.

For hours after that phone call I held back tears, wondering what was happening, was he okay? Was it a burst appendix? Would they cut him open? Would he die? My work associate wouldn't let me leave with him, even though he could hardly walk, and he had to drive himself to the hospital.

When we had closed the doors of the store, I called him; and he was doped up, heading into surgery. I couldn't be there to hold his hand, to tell him it was going to be okay...
When we were done closing my work associate drove me to the hospital, and I ran in, asking where he was. I was directed to surgery waiting, which was empty. I talked to a doctor, who called another doctor, and he steered me towards another room. Another doctor stopped us and told us to follow her, that my fiance was having a break before he went back into surgery, to hurry.

I practically ran, and when I got there, we were in a lobby outside of surgery, and I don't remember anything besides seeing his face under the scrubs, and I dropped all my stuff, and ran to him. I burst into tears and laid my head on his chest. He told me it would be alright, to stop crying, but I told him I couldn't when I had to see him like this. He told me I'm his soulmate, and everything would be okay. I sobbed, and vaguely heard the doctors behind me chatting...I don't remember any of their faces, just that they were there. Then they told me my time was up, and wheeled him into surgery. I couldn't watch them take him away, I kissed him bye and turned away.

A doctor directed me to surgery waiting, and I quietly cried as we walked there. I sat in the empty waiting room, filled with ugly floral patterned chairs and nightmarish carpet..I felt like I was in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, when Johnny Dep was hallucinating the carpet was growing vines and crawling.
I cried and cried and tried to rationalize with myself, I wrote a dreadfully bad poem and read a girly magazine.

I had been so caught up I'd forgotten to get Sam's mom's phone number, and luckily one of the doctors came in and gave me her phone number.
Her and I talked for an hour or more, about Sam, and how much he's grown and changed, and how proud of him we were. It was the first time her and I really talked, and it was only awkward for a few mins, when someone you love is in peril, it really brings people together.

I waited for hours for him, I couldn't turn on the TV, I couldn't think really. I just sat there, pondering whether I should lay on the three seats next to me and try to nap. I just knew that was never gonna happen. Finally the doctors updated me, while I was talking to Theresa(Sam's mom)they told me he was done, and that they would bring him up to his room in about an hour. Then another doctor came in, and directed me to his room, so I could wait for him.

Several hours later, after they moved me from his room to the nearby waiting room, they informed me I could see him. What I was expecting was a heartfelt relief, but what I got was Sam all the way. He was yelling, crying, screaming at the nurses. Threatening to sue, to transfer hospitals, to sign himself out, begging for pain meds. Needless to say, it was quit an embarassing nightmare. No matter what I did, I couldn't calm him.
As the night continued, he calmed down, and got his pain medicine. He fell asleep, dead asleep. After around 2:30, I said my goodbyes, and headed home in a taxi.

The Taxi driver was an asshole, he was mad at me because I didn't tip him.

The next day, I received a barrage of phone calls, that didn't end, all day. My family, and friends checking up on me, giving me support.

I lost my job as well, because the next day I was scheduled to work, and never showed, although I had completely forgotten because of all the insanity. When I called them they told me I didn't call or show, and someone had to cover my shift, and so I "Quit on them". Which is bullshit. And then they asked me how my b/f was.

It was a family emergency, and they fired me. I got off the phone and cried, and cried, and called Sam, and cried more. I talked to my mom, and Tasia, and they helped to calm me a bit.

My fears; how can I pay for anything when Sam's going to be out of work for 6 weeks?

How could this happen…

Later, around 8:00 Tasia called and asked if I could house Kyle for the night, until he got to the bus stop back to Wyoming. Apparently this girl asked him to come visit her, and then her mom told her no at the last minute. He was about to transfer to the Chicago bus, but checked his phone right before, and saw her message; "Go back home."

He was stranded in Denver, in a snowstorm, so of course I said he could stay.

I was rather relieved I had someone else here, so I wouldn't wallow and focus on my problems.

Denver is so different from Seattle; as Kyle was on his way here, walking to the bus stop, a man started following him. He asked him; "Hey, how are you?" Kyle said; "I'm cold and angry."

The guy didn't get the picture, and kept following Kyle. Now just for all those who don't know, Kyle is flaming gay. So, the guy suddenly comes up next to him, and sticks his hand in Kyle's front pocket, and tries to grab his manhood! Kyle turns around, socks him in the face, and lays him flat. The guy is laying face down in the snow. Kyle said he could tell the guy was on drugs. Kyle continued walking.

This sort of thing would NEVER happen in Seattle. Some girls from work were telling me the guys at the clubs are so disrespectful they will grab girls tits, and asses w/out their consent, or knowledge. It kinda horrifies me.

Every city is different, but I have come to find that out of all the cities I've lived in, Seattle is the most polite.

Although it takes people a bit to open up, and making friends is harder than breaking into Fort Knox, when you ask someone on the street for directions; not only will they give you the history of the place, but where its at, and how the atmosphere is. In some ways I really do miss my city. I think a piece of my heart will always be saved for Seattle.

Currently Sam is going through a circus at the hospital, and his doctor has me so unbelievably pissed that I want to sue his ass. They will give him a higher pain med dose, and then suddenly take him off everything, when he begs them to put him back on, and he's crying in pain, they will finally put him back on. This has happened about 4-5 times. They won't even let him get one night's sleep, they keep waking him up every few hours.

His doctor keeps changing his mind about the prescription he's giving him to take home, and how many pills he's getting. His doctor has changed his mind NUMEROUS times about whether he gets to leave today, yesterday, tomorrow, in a week etc. Its been a roller-coaster ride. They've even changed his RECOVERY time. How can you change recovery time? Its been 2 weeks, then 4, then six. And six weeks is what they told me right after he got out of surgery. These people are sick. I've gotten plenty of stories from my cousin Tasia as well, that Swedish medical hospital is evil.

Our van broke down, several days ago, so we've been using my aunts truck. Taz gets back from Canada today, and my parents are picking her up. They will be coming down to visit us, and work on the van since Sam is incapacitated.

We were really hoping that we'd be able to move out, in a month. But it doesn't look like that's gonna happen.

I was on my cell-phone so much yesterday that I got a terrible headache, and I was very sick by the time I made it to bed. All I know is that I don't know what I would do w/out my family and friends. They mean the world to me, and w/out their support I think I would have been crying through this whole ordeal.

Tasia, Mimi, and even Kyle, I just want to thank you guys, because w/out the people in my life I don't how I would have made it through everything.

Kyle cheered me up, and Tasia and Mimi you two are just really amazing, thanks for all your support.

I know none of my family besides my mom reads my blog; but I'd also like to thank my dad, my mom, Sam's mom, my Grandma Charlotte, my Grandma Schilling, and Taz; for being there for me and Sam, and for holding Sam in your Prayers, thoughts, and hearts. And mom, you were there for me every step of the way.

Well; this concludes that part of my story, I'll be busy all day today taking care of Sam when they release him, and visiting w/ my parents, Nikki, and Taz.

Peace,
Sky

Friday, January 4, 2008

Returning to Denver: Part II

On new years, the night of the end of the first day, of the new year...memories flooded my brains receptors...
I was suddenly aware that for months I have been in a state of shock. I have not been able to fully process or comprehend the events that my life had experienced. I went through more let downs and beat-downs than I had ever been through, in my whole life. Signs would line up, beautifully, fluidly, and then the illusion would come crashing down at the last minute, leaving me weary, tired, bedraggled, and at a loss for words. There is no way to explain in words, what my family and I went through. Life, or death, was throwing us around like a ping pong ball in the universe.
I felt cursed, I thought it would never end, when my spirit was thoroughly broken, I withdrew. I stopped trying. The little warrior girl inside me had been sleeping so long, that her strength had died away, with the fading of her callouses, and her scars. I knew this was a test, and that it had only begun. I knew that the deterioration of the system was falling apart rapidly, and that I had to grow a backbone soon. But I did nothing, and Kali the goddess of death and decay, laughed at me. She laughed at us all. She tried to dance with me but I ran, she tried to kill me but I ran. She tried to show me her face, but I screamed. And now, I wish I had just danced with her.
Now here I sit, knowingly understanding that it has just begun...that this is only a pause in the greater struggle. That I must be strong, I must not fall, or brood. I can't let anything get the best of me. That little warrior girl inside, needs to grow up.

Sky

Returning to Denver: My childhood hometown

November 21, 2007 - Wednesday

Many events have torn through my life like a harsh wind on a winters day...
I have been homeless, on the road, jobless, and full of dreams. I have seen many of my old homes, places I used to call my backyard, my home, my heartland. I have slipped back into time, for a fraction of my life's rhyme, and I have wonderered many a time, where am I going? I have seen old friends, who haven't changed a bit, and family I was too young to remember. I have been scared, and worn, tired and weary, and at times, utterly hopeless. I have cried, I have laughed, I've vegged in front of a motel TV watching CSI. I've grown, and yet somehow I'm younger. More innocent in realizing that I will always be ignorant, no matter how grand my knowledge. I have seen my family a victim of carthieves, and tool thieves, and wished I could have done somthing. I have gained family, and camped in the rain. I have been selfish, and rude, and careless...and humbled in my own right.
I have travelled through many lands, and stayed in a motel from the 1900's...unable to sleep and feeling the carpet stick to my feet. I have smiled at strangers, and came upon a pack of doe in a rest stop...locking eyes with the buck, I watched his glowing eyes as he paused, and then moved on.
I have seen endless miles of yellow flatlands, and rolling foothills, imagining they were a giants feet. I have seen the Joshua trees, and marvelled at their resemblence to brocolli...
I've climbed mountains, and passed through tunnels, but of course I wasn't the driver.
And in the end, I was able to pause, before I continued on my journey, to rest in the comfort of family, and take stock of my resources. As I now sit here, the colorado snow stops falling, it blankets the city in white, and the sky clears of gray clouds.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

My currents: Life

Current Mood:
Dreamy, melancholy, full, cold, determined.

Current Attire:
Sweatshirt, black skinny jeans, and ankle socks.

Current Hair:
Bangs, red and black shag cut, long.

Recent movies/shows watched:
Witchblade the anime series: Amazing show
Brotherhood of the wolf: Favorite movie
Serendipity: Classic
Stardust: Really cute!
I now pronounce you chuck & Larry: Loved it.

Current music taste:
Gothic, ethereal, orchestra, symphony, industrial, middle eastern, and deathmetal/hard rock.

Current goals:
Daily yoga
Drink more water
Get another part time job
Get into apartment with my fiance

Current room:
My aunts apartment, in her spare bedroom.

Current occupation:
Florist
Artist
Sewing new clothes from my old ones

Recent finds:
A kick-ass mirror in the apartment trash, while dumping the catlitter box:
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Current favorite place to shop:
Whole foods
Vitamin cottage

Current fears:
Being locked inside this apartment for too long.

Current creations:
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Last but not least....
Happy fucking new years!!!!