Sunday, June 29, 2008

Wild Foraging Trip: 6/29/08

So this morning, my cat brought me a present, as usual...

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I suddenly decided, why waste perfectly good bird meat? My cat never eat his birds, he kindly snaps their necks though, unlike most cruel house cats, who toy with their prey until they are beyond recognition.
So I wrapped it in a plastic bag and stuck in the fridge in preparation for dinner.

My mom picked up some of my favorite wild veggie flower today, Milkweed:

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They have lots of bugs they coexist with in their habitat, so we have to soak them for several hours until all the bugs float to the surface. They have to be processed multiple times. By pushing them into the water, with the flat of your hands, the bugs float to the surface. Drain the water, and repeat about 3 times.

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Shadow and I then proceeded on a wild foraging hunt, for the rest of our night veggies!
The first things we came across were LOTS of prickly lettuce!
Prickly lettuce must be cooked until the spines on the stalk are soft.
I like to cook them in walnut oil and soysauce, with garlic.

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The second thing we found on our trip, were yucca pods!
The seeds taste amazing, like a nutty mini water chestnut.
I stirfry them in my veggie stirfries.
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The need to be cut down the middle, at the intersecting points. Then the seeds will pop out. This demonstration is done by Shadows hands! :)

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By the time we were done, we had a half filled bowl, this is just a few pods worth.

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Afterwards we found a bit of mullein, and continued picking our prickly lettuce along the way. The mullein is a slight sedative, great for relaxing tea, mixed with either mint, sage, clover, etc. The leaves are soft and fuzzy.
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We proceeded on our journey, and found some fairy ring mushrooms, or LBM's(lil brown mushrooms) if you will. They were in some manicured grass outside of a business. They love the water!
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We stopped in front of 7 Eleven and hit the jack pot of food!
I found a meadow mushroom, just one...but there were two dead ones next to it, so I have a mushroom pickin' spot!

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The underside of the sweet scented meadow mushroom:

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Among our finds were some Lambsquarters, which grows prolifically everywhere!
The flower heads I find to be really enjoyable, the rest of the plant tastes similiar to spinache, but BETTER, and it IS in the spinache family. Although, it doesn't have the bad side effects of spinache. We don't need arm tumors like Popeye!

Lambsquarters flowerheads:

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Full grown Lambsquarters:

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Below is some Plantain, which is good for sore muscles, bruised muscles, and used in healing salves. The indians put in their shoes to protect their feet on long journeys, and heal the sore muscles. The leaves are also used in healing salves. When the seeds mature to a darkened blackish color, they can be stripped and cooked in butter and eaten by themselves, thrown on salads etc.

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We collected a huge bag of dandelion greens, they are slightly bitter, and they are best collected young, as they get more bitter as they age. The flowers can be cooked in butter, used in baking, etc. The flowers may also be eaten raw.

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We picked some sage on our way home:

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When we got home, I dug a fire pit to cook our little bird, and started a fire, putting wood on three times until we had built up enough coals to cook our bird.

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While Shadow threw the whole bird in, feathers and all, I cooked the stirfry.
We combined all of the above ingredients, with some fresh garlic and red onion, and stir fried it up.

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The bird looked mighty tasty when he was done:

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We then combined the stripped bird meat with the stirfry, and voila!

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It was INCREDIBLE tasting, needless to say; today was a good day. A beautiful epic wild food adventure, that ended in bliss. A hard days work, and we have plenty of veggies for our week to come!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

I'll never play nice again

Wednesday, April 23, 2008




I guess its my fault
I fell to hard, too fast
And I ignored my inner voice playing in my head, he'll break your heart in two it said, over and over again
Thoughts spin through my mind a thousand times but still these rhymes are twisted fairytales
And its scary how frail I really am, how unstable the ground I stand is shifting my land
And I demand he admit his feelings weren't non-existant
But he turns as cold as ice, he was my only vice
And all my tries were feeble attempts at a glimpse into his soul
His only goal to pull me apart, see what makes me tick
But the wick of my flame has died all the same
And now all I crave is his taste, and the feel of his skin against mine
Those dark probing eyes pulling me apart at the seams
And now I hold back my screams and let the dark demented things that roam in my mind question what's inside of me
I beg you to set me free, let my heart bleed out till there's nothing left to break, because I can't take one more second of this deafening silence
It prays on me with violence, screaming like violins; heartwrenching in its sins
Another chapter begins and I see its never the end, I'm eternal no matter how badly my soul bends and writhes in pain, I'm not dying, I'm just going insane
I wish I could've tamed my emotions, kept you with me a little longer
But these feelings come pouring out like oceans
Every caress, every kiss, every penetrating gaze I felt my defenses melt, I felt my heart hook deeper into this sadistic game
I'll never be the same
I can only hope I don't ache for you forever, I can only hope I don't break and this love fever does
I hope these chemicals flush from my system
I hope my vision clears and my fears abade
I hope my heart doesn't fade into numbing coldness
I hope my boldness in love doesn't diminish into walls that finish these barriers and wrap around my soul
That you don't pull me into oblivion
That my sun will rise again, and I can give love another try, another time
And hopefully mine will be returned not turned away like a leper trying to play with the distinguished of society
My propriety turned to dust when I felt this unquenchable lust
This passion; I've never felt such a tragic addiction
And the infliction of your rejection was like knives in my stomach, and I just can't stomach this burning pain, this dying connection
This is my last grain of comprehension
I will fall to descension, I'll suck them all and I'll never break their fall
I'll eat their insides and make my rides fast and dirty
As the tides begin to push I'll shift alone this time
Because I can't handle another tear at my soul
My fire will be fueled by lust, and I'll let this love turn to ashes
I'll rise again inside this creation
I'll never accept another soul invasion
This is my final revelation
That I cannot station myself to another heartfelt admittance of my truths
These wounds will heal, the black and blues that paint my soul in bruises will seal up and I won't give up on life
No matter how much this strife rips at my insides, I'll never play nice again.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Death

Your words are like poison
Dripping in my ear with lies and filling my eyes with tears
Over the years you've chased me
Fulfilling the prophecy of your self chosen name, you are toxic in your games
I hear your tone, your voice and your words and I feel disgust
I feel hatred
I feel weariness in my state...
I rid myself of you, and then you pulled me back in
Psychically stalking me in our remaining connection
I should have taken the rejection
I should have left when you cursed my dreams
When you ripped apart the seams of my reality
Everything you say is a trap, a trick, a mind fuck
Your pessimistic attitude has given you coyotes luck
Why did I stick around?
I'm turning numb from the sound of your voice
Its gone on too long
I feel this has been nothing but a battle, and this song has been filled with sorrow
I feel your watching me
My every move, my every action
Your paranoia has spread like a disease
Please let me be free...
This toxic release has left these tumors to decease
I know who you are...
Your one of them
The dirty watchers that bend this reality to your slave mindset
Your own kind ruined you
And you let them, you took their pills and played their game, you were their victim because you strayed
You strayed from their path, you began to fall in love with me and love yourself as well
But you never severed them from your spyche
Why keep them around?
Why stay bound to the puppet masters that sound your actions
Why stay numb in your reactions, is emotion that painful?
I've loved you with all of my heart, I gave you all of myself
Sacrificed myself to your tortures
I let you burn me and scorch me time after time
I gave excuses for this rhyme
I gave excuses for my love, and I stuck around, blaming myself
Not listening to the sound of your words, to the hurt you inflicted
I must be masochistic
I must admit I loved the physical pain
I loved the hate I felt when we fucked
It was our only remaining passion
I loved tearing up your body with my teeth
I felt so much hate that I wanted to kill you and meld with you simultaneously
I promised myself if you were truly the enemy
I'd kill you in the end
I'd make love to your dying body and lick at your wounds
I'd stab you until we were covered in your blood
I made love to the enemy...
I slept in his bed and I loved him
I know you'd deserve the pain
And without your nectar you'd feel every bit of it
And I'll feel pure bliss when I kiss the blood off your lips
When I slide my tung inside your mouth and taste you
When I fuck your dying body
I want to feel your hands clawing at my tits
I want to feel you rip me up inside
I want to ride your slippery bloody body
I want to fuck you as you die
I want to watch your soul fly away

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Come and play

Life is a movie
An independant film of everyone's life
Life is a photoshoot, and we'll pose while those memories trigger the camera
Flash, its imprinted in our receptors...and those memories will fade like old photos until the faces are a blur, and the background is a tattered sepia
Life is the page out of a story book, and as we turn the pages, our history and future unfolds before our eyes like a pop-up book
Life is a poem, it flows with our sorrows, our woes, our happiness and this prose is just the beginning of the words we'll say...
Life is a play, a stage we act out in our rage, in our pains, in our gains, in our love and our hopes
And when you pull the ropes the curtain folds back, and we'll never hold back
We'll give you all our passion, all our dreams, and inside this will be our biography
There is no choreography, only the self-conscious guessing of our actions will prevent us from becoming great actors of our lives
Life is a painting, and we are the colors that splash across its canvas and create its true soul...
Life is full of mystery, our history is only the past repeated, so don't stay seated...don't watch us play, come and join in the game.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Starphyre's Poetry: The monster inside him

Break-up- 2/26/08
This is the night Sam and I broke up, the day before he left to Chicago.
I haven't edited it, because this is how I felt...he cut me off in the middle of the poem and kicked me off his computer so he could start packing it up.

I feel so cold inside
I held on so tight
Wishing it was right
Hoping everything would be alright in the end
I tried to bend your willpower for you
Tried to show you a better way
I tried to play nurse in your psychiatric care
Fuck I feel like that whole time I wasn't even really there
Did you ever really look at me?
Or just through me...
Well now I think you've been secretly through with me
Me and my straight-laced ways
Me and my anti-drug phrase
Me and my individualistic optimistic pace
Me and every place we've ever been
Can we really look back, and find a time when we weren't struggling
To get through every day
To stay friends, to make ends meet while buying your addictive treat?
What the hell was I thinking, sitting in this seat I've chained myself too
Forgetting WHO I was
I know you love me
I know you care
But not for who I am, but what I do for you
You want a mother, and yours doesn't want you
You want to run back
To everything you ever were
You miss those days, where you were in control
And the drugs controlled you
You pulled me away
Into your deep dark depressive hole
And I know, you'll find someone new
I know prospects are already flying through your head
I know you've wanted to leave for a long time
And I realize this time I have to let you go
I'm holding everything in
Not one tear has fallen on my skin
My stomach is clinched in
My jaw tightened
My heart cracking like an old photograph
I can't breath
I feel like if I do all this pain will come pouring out
And I'll run right back to you
Begging you to stay
Falling pathetically at your feet
I can't let you defeat me again
I can't let you see me weak
I can't let you speak those swaying words
Pulling me back into your demented trap
I saw who you were
A mask
A facade
A drug I came down off of
Isn't it ironic?
Pathetic in every way
Your tears falling on my shirt
I saw those sorrowful eyes
The self-pity
And I've given enough tries
I don't deserve to hear another drunken slur
To watch another opiate nod
Your aren't my god
I won't worship you
I won't trade my soul for your pleasure
You won't break me
And I won't take you back
No I won't crack under the pressure
I won't look in your eyes
I won't let you touch me
I won't let you pull me back into oblivion
Your true colors shown through
Every time we make it better, the "good days" are shorter, and shorter
I had so much hope
So much faith
Was it all a waste?
Did I come all this way just for a broken heart and pieces of myself scattered across the netherverse
I won't repeat this verse, because I know you were just a curse
Just a plague that raged across the oceans of my soul
Just a disease my heart was taken by
And now I'll cut you out
I'll slice those memories out of my mind
I'll put them away, in a box is where they'll stay
And then someday, when the pain is just a numb stain, a withered scar
I pull them out again
I'll remember the good times, and forget the bad
I won't be mad anymore, I won't be sore of this numbing hurt
No...I'll soar away with these wings you tied behind my back
I'm fucking numb
I'm as numb as the toxic nectar you swallow
But I won't leave, I won't become the hollow shell left behind
I won't let you bind me to our past
I won't let your guiltrips rip at my consciousness
I won't bleed for you, and I won't seethe for you
I won't hold onto what you've done to me
I'll move on, I'll get ME back
I'll remember who I was
And I know I'm not alone
No...unlike you I didn't burn my bridges, I didn't hurt everyone in my path
I know you'll never find anyone as good as me
But that's not what you want...you want someone as low as you, to make you feel better
Is that why you loved me when I was just a self-hating recluse?
But you don't REALLY have an excuse
Although they may pour out of your mouth like woven stories; they're all lies and follies
Your just a manipulative FUCK
I think you feed off my light
Off my happiness and dreams
I think you eat them up and inside of you are the screams of everyone you've ever destroyed

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

A crossroad

*Note: I wrote this in my emotional distress over choosing to stay with my ex, or leave him. My views were slightly askew in my opinion.


It seems to me that every major, small, incidental detail of one's life always ends up back at a multi-choice crossroad.
And here it is; the ever present crossroad of my life is back to haunt me; signs are pointed in multiple directions...and even when I know deep inside the "right"path i should be taking, that damn beating writhing organ in my chest tells me otherwise every time.
Its a cruel game; walk away from the thing you spent so much time investing in, so you can move on and grow as person.
But it seems to me that the risks are so great; love is the hardest thing to let go of; even if toxic or hindering.
It seems so cruel that after all the memories; shared sorrows and joys, that it can all be destroyed by the jealous hurt will of another.
Retaining friendship after being so close is like struggling to keep the thread of a running sweater tucked away where no one can see...eventually it will all come undone, leaving you naked and exposed.
I saw I was in a cage, and the question is; will the person who put me in a cage be willing to sacrifice their ego and fears to keep me, or will they push me away by trying retain that last bit of delusional haze over me?
The truth is, it isn't love if they keep you tethered up like an animal...
Why; in my experiences do men feel they need to keep creatures locked away with no will of their own? Is it because they feel their power to be so limited that they have to do whatever they can to feel in control?
In my own way; I'm just as controlling; but for the opposite of reasons...I cant stand to sit on the sidelines and watch the person I am with destroy themselves; it isn't healthy for me, or them.
I have to deal with the consequences of their self-destruction; it takes away from my life, from my time, and drains my spirit of its very life-force and essence.
I will always be optimistic; the person who hopes for the best; for the changes I wish to believe in people; but time and time again I am let down.
I believe that I will always hope for the best no matter how much it hurts me, I have to be true to who I am, and always believe in the people in my life...

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Reliv: Miracle cure, or scam?

Let me ask you a question...
If someone told you that your cancer could be cured, your achy bones could finally withstand the winter, your acne could be demolished, your wrinkles could be tightened without botox, or that every health problem you had, could be cured by drinking a shake; would you believe it?

In my opinion, I think the majority of the human race would like to believe in such a miracle cure.
And is it impossible? No...there are truly miracle products out there, such as Blue Green Algae, or its refined cousin StemEnhance. But; the truth is Americans don't have the time, patience, or necessary knowledge to do their own research.
Americans are ripe fruits waiting to be picked by all the greedy scammers waiting right there, in the light; with pictures of healthy faces and "authentic testimonies". The pages are covered with comforting words about how "simplicity and convenience are all you need in a supplement". And yet; there are no ingredients listed on the page, no information on the product besides an information request form. But innocent people are being scammed out of their money, these are working-class Americans who can't afford the medical treatment they need; they believe they have nothing to lose by spending $61 dollars on a supplement, because they are desperate for an answer. These companies know your weaknesses; they see a simple idea, and hopeful Americans wanting only to live a healthy life. They don't care about anyone but themselves, and their pocketbook.

I recently met a woman, at a temp job I am working, who is a seller for a product called "Reliv".
I knew from the instant she told me about it, that at 61.00 dollars this product was a scam.
She told me it cured her turrets, her migraines, and the health problems of her family members, and other people she knows through her "distributor network".
When I proceeded to ask her how it was processed, and what the ingredients were, she told me; "I'm not a scientist, I just know it works" and "Its been developed by scientists"
Anyone can be a scientist, if they have a brain and an education.

I went home and did my own research, I knew she expected me to be sold on her miracle cure, after her flagrant lies about how she had known of customers who have had their Grave's Disease cured(which I mentioned I had, before she said anything). She is an actress; literally, a broadway actress. I'm smart enough to know when someone is trying to play me, and I damn well won't take anything that doesn't have an ingredients list.
The bottom line, after searching through several dead end pages, its a protein shake made of soy, with a combination of vitamins, and herbs. All available at a very discounted price when buying in bulk from an herbal store, or online from a vitamin supplier such as NOW.
The grand total is 61.00 for the shake, but its other product lines include; a weight lost miracle cure, an acne treatment, etc etc.
These companies are giving supplements a bad name. We are in a constant war against the AMA, and the government, just to keep our natural supplements, and companies like this are the very evil giving us a bad name.

The dangers of soy are also very prevalent if one does enough research, it is a cheap mass produced grain, that a large portion of the populace is allergic to. How safe can a supplement without its ingredient listed be?

I encourage you to do your own research, before wasting money. It takes a couple minutes out of your day, as opposed to several days of labor lost to a "miracle cure". Can your family or you really afford to guess at the benefits of a mystery miracle product?